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Alternative Uses For Socks

Sure, socks can be turned into hand puppets or filled with rice or beans or rocks and used as a heating pad, but socks can also come in handy in a certain "emergency" situation. I am sure this has happened to many of you: you are in a public restroom, you have just washed your hands, and then you notice there are no more paper towels. What do you do? I have the solution. I have not told any one besides my wife until today, but you do not have to suffer through this embarrassing situation any longer. When you need to dry your hands and there are no paper towels, pull up a pant leg and dry your hand on your sock!

Before you say I am crazy, hear me out. What is your alternative? You can walk out of the restroom with soaking wet hands, and then look! There is your buddy who you did not even know was at the mall, but you cannot shake his hand because your hand is wet! Or, you could just dry your hands off on your pants leaving wet hand prints. Then when you walk out, and your buddy sees wet hand prints all over your pants, he wonders what happened in the restroom.

Now you are likely beginning to see the advantages of the socks. You can pull your pant leg up with your fingertips leaving a very small, generally unnoticeable wet spot on your pants. Then just grab that sock with the free wet hand and dry away. Now repeat with opposite hands and socks. What do you have? Dry hands and no embarrassing wet pants. Now, I caution you, try to shake off as much of the water as you can first. No one wants to walk around with extremely damp socks for the next few hours. If you shake off enough water, your socks will be dry in ten minutes! And no one is going to see your wet socks.

Granted, this is not as foolproof when you are wearing shorts, dresses, skirts, or kilts, but if you have on standard white cotton socks, you still have an excellent chance of pulling this off without anyone noticing.

Next time you find yourself with wet hands and no paper towels, you know what to do!


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Comments (4)


Useful indeed, but how is this going to get us into space? Focus, man.

Nikki Thumann:

You never cease to amaze me with your thoughts. Although it made me laugh (because I pictured you in a kilt), I am glad for your yet again amazing insight!


I am surprised. I didn't know you could write so well. Maybe you should write my book of memoirs. Oh, and I am ordering you a kilt from ebay, to go with your socks, of course. :)

LOL...Josh you are a funny, funny guy! Next time I have wet hands and no papertowels you will be first on my mind...after I dry my hands on my socks of course.

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